Before my oldest daughter started school, I gave her the "talk" that I assume most parents give their kids. Be nice. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Don't hit or fight or tattle. But don't be a doormat either. You know the "talk" I'm referring to, right? In our area, they had a few kids come in each day for the first week or two(it's been a long time and I can't remember EVERY detail). My daughter goes off for her first day of school. As I anxiously await picking her up I dream of conversations about how the day was wonderful and she already met her best friend. Instead what I heard was "I had a good day. A little girl kicked me. We played outside." Did I hear her correctly? Her first day of school and someone kicked her? So I ask if someone kicked her. She said yes, a mean girl. I had to think for a few minutes as to how to react. Because Momma Tiger was waking up and having fleeting thoughts of finding this other kindergartner and having a "TALK" with her. But I had given my daughter advise on how to behave and now I had to be that example. So I thought for a minute and ask if my daughter had done anything to this girl to cause her to kick her. She said no. I ask if it was maybe an accident. Maybe the girl was swinging and my daughter walked too close and she kicked her. Again she said no, she's just mean. My daughter had already formed this opinion of the girl. And who could blame her really. But I knew I needed to use this experience to help my daughter grow. That meant no bashing the 5 year old "mean girl". So I told my daughter that the little girl shouldn't have kicked her. But she still needed to be nice to her although she had done this. My daughter looked at me confused. I told her that we never know what goes on in someone else's home. Maybe they have a parent who takes drugs or gets drunk. Maybe they are abused. Maybe one of their parents is very sick and the child is angry at this. There could be a million things going on behind the closed door of a home. Wouldn't we feel bad if any of these situations were true and we hadn't been forgiving and kind? My daughter shook her head yes. And assured me she would be nice. She said "maybe she just needs a friend". As time went on throughout my daughter's kindergarten year of school, she reported back to me several times about this girl. She never kicked my daughter again. My daughter played with her during recess and talked to her and they had an acquaintance type friendship. The girl had a speech problem and as it turns out was adopted. We don't know if any of this is why she came to school and on day 1 kicked someone. But we like to think maybe it was and maybe she wasn't really a mean girl after all.
Fast forward to my oldest daughter's 9th grade chorus banquet just a few days ago. They recognize and say good bye to their chorus seniors. Each senior is given a chance to say whatever they would like. One young man takes his turn and says "I would like to thank my grandmother and grandfather for being here for me. I don't know what I would do without them." From the audience we hear, "we don't know what we would do without you". The young man continues and says "my grandfather had cancer and now has it again. They took me and my brother in about a year ago. Saved us from a bad situation. From our mom". The grandfather made his way up front to hug his grandson, with tears in both their eyes. In fact I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. I don't know this young man at all. He looked "normal" (for lack of a better word). He acted "normal". And here he was a few days away from graduating from high school. He's going to make it. His story made me think about how we really don't know the story of each person we come into contact with. We don't know what life they live behind the closed door of their home. A young lady thanked her grandmother who was always there for her. And her aunt who went on field trips with her. Never did she mention a mother or father. Again I don't know the story. But my heart broke over and over as these young people shared bits of their story, their life.
We all have a story. We all live different lives. We should never assume we know what others go through. Maybe we shouldn't assume a person is mean, rude or aggressive just because they want to be. Oh I'm sure those people are out there. But before we write them off and push them off of our path of life, should we get to know them? Maybe our kindness, our friendship, our good example will encourage them, help them or at least cause them to think before they act. Or maybe, just maybe we could help them take hold of the hand of Jesus. Where they will find refreshment for their soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment